Top Ten Rejected Movies About Heraldry

The following list is shamelessly stolen, being too funny not to share, from “The Quarter, Trimaris’ Perfectly Period Parody Publication,” No. 16, http://www.thequarter.org/issue16/page09.php

10.   The Maltese Falcon, Wings Addorsed and Inverted

  9.   The Golpes of Wrath

  8.   Indiana Jones and the Point of Difference

  7.   Moulin Gules

  6.   Manos, the Sinister Hand of Fate, Couped

  5.   C.H.U.D. III - Courageous Heralds Under Duress

  4.   The Kiss of the Pursuivant

  3.   Blazon Saddles

  2.   Dudley Do-Dexter

  1.   My Big Fat Herald Wedding

No doubt the wags among us could come up with some more.  (Casa Argent?  The Sable Escutcheon of Falworth?  Silence of the Paschal Lambs?  Please stop me before I pun again!)

And, for some reason, seeing all of these heraldically fractured (fracted?)* movie titles reminds me of a song line that a friend of ours came up with a few years ago while we were driving through southern Louisiana (to the tune of the old song, “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” by the Four Lads):

“It’s Baton Rouge, not Baton Sinople now….”

Thanks for that, Tim!  You didn't think I was really listening, did you?

* “Fracted, broken.  See Fesse, Chevron, and downset (dancetty).”  James Parker’s A Glossary of Terms Used in Heraldry, 1894, p. 275.